Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
