Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
