so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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