i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
