My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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