I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
