My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
