As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
did you just send me my own nude
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize