Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
