Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
