Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize