I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
