Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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