Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
