at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize