Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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