What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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