ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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