The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
