I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize