Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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