I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
