Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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