he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
