I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
