so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
