I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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