You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
