bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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