Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
