Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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