I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
