Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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