i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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