So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
