I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
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Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
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Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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