this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize