Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
