i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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