i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
