I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
