lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize