I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
