its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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