the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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