check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
