You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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