what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
