So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
