I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm just crazy horny about you
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
