Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this boner is exhausting
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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