am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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