I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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