Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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