what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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