I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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