i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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