Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
