I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
