absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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